Pre-Departure Thoughts

Today is Friday the 17th, and I leave for China on the 21st.

About eight or nine months ago, I found out that I had the potential to study abroad. Realizing that I'll be paying school loans for forever and a half, I came to the conclusion that if I didn't go now, I would be too poor to afford such a venture for the foreseeable future.

I have found that when I tell someone for the first time that I'm going to be studying abroad in China, the potential facial expressions of the listener are various and sundry (ranging from widened eyes portraying "you nuts?!?" to slight head rotations and raised eyebrows signifying "that's interesting"); however, about 67% of the immediate oral responses include some variation of the same phrase: "do you speak the language?"

To these people (and I apologize if you were one of them because I may seem to lack tact in the face of something that should logically scare me), I often responded, "[lol]...no."

I am willing to accept that I am under-prepared or unprepared for this, but due to some backwards way of thinking, I believe that this thought has itself prepared me; I don't know what I'm getting into so I will be more ready to adapt.

Those around me tend to be more worried than I about rational anxieties like language barriers.  What really concerns me is the return home, when I find out whether all my classes are lined up for me to continue into the graduate portion of the physical therapy program I am enrolled. (Concerns that really shouldn't exist because my academic adviser is the man and we worked out all potential problems before I left)

Maybe the possible ramifications of living in a country without knowing the primary language just hasn't hit me yet, or maybe the difficulties of living in China (including, but not limited to, language barriers) will be far more difficult than anything I have fathomed at present.  I know it will be difficult, but I don't know to what extent. I try not to worry about things I cannot control, though I cannot decide if this is a healthy attitude or rationalized ignorance.

I am trying to strike a balance between being mentally prepared, and not freaking out about how unprepared I am for this adventure.

I once considered studying abroad in Scotland instead of China, debating within myself whether it would be wiser to travel to a country with English as it's primary language.  My conclusion:  it would most certainly have been wiser, and a whole lot easier, but I've always had interests with roots in China.

Marital arts have likely been the only consistent interest I've had for over a decade, and through it I have become very fond of Buddhist philosophy. In high school I purchased a book on Shaolin kung fu, but found the chapters discussing Buddhist philosophy far more interesting.  I don't mean to create impractical goals for myself (considering the language barrier), but I sincerely hope to investigate martial arts during my stay.

I acknowledge that I have to be very careful with any of my expectations for traveling to China.  I know little to nothing about it, and cannot hope to grasp its complex culture within a short four-month stay.

Once desiring a change of pace, afraid of feeling stuck in a school that was starting to lose its novelty, I hope I haven't gone to too much of an extreme.  I will be staying at a university designed for foreigners with about thirteen other Americans in my program, but cannot escape the feeling that I will be immersed in the unknown. I think I like the thought.

I cannot imagine a more interesting [note: interesting does not imply good or even pleasant] experience than to be forced to learn new things in everything I do.

Even if this trip is going to be the least enjoyable endeavor I will engage in for the rest of my life, it will be worth it because I know I would otherwise regret not going, regret not learning, regret not trying.

I figure I'm in for quite the adventure.